Despite the glitch he has in his system, Ron is able to understand Barney, but can only recognize words that begin with the letter "A" so Ron frequently calls him "Absalom". Ever since he received a B-Bot named Ron as a late birthday present, Ron began glitching, much to Barney's worry about Ron himself glitching. but did you really love me?” a tormented Barney thinks as he reckons with the detritus of his pop culture legacy.Barney lives in Nonsuch with his father Graham and his grandmother Donka. Picture it: Razor-sharp T-rex teeth and claws bared, Barney, no love in his heart, stalks the children of the world while an eerie, ominously slow piano cover of “I Love You” plays in the background. But what if Barney, newly self-aware and cognizant of his controversial place within pop culture, came back. That’s certainly one way to frame a character so maligned that the loathing he generated has its own Wikipedia entry.
First, here’s how Kaluuya described the friendly dino in a press statement: “Barney was a ubiquitous figure in many of our childhoods, then he disappeared into the shadows, left misunderstood.”
#BARNEY MOVIE MOVIE#
If you, like me, are the sort who thinks this synopsis sounds like the bottom circle of hell, then join me in envisioning what the Barney movie should really be like. (It’s perhaps worth noting that Joyner is now a tantric sex instructor, so clearly he finds a special enjoyment in getting into interesting positions.) If you’re the kind of person who reads this description and thinks, “Oh, yeah, that does sound pretty cool!” then it’s possible you’re the ideal audience for the new Barney movie. And when Barney’s mouth is closed, I can’t see anything. I can only see a certain amount, because of the peripheral of Barney’s mouth.
There’s no facial expressions that can be made. It’s a T-rex, so you’re basically just up to your elbows in being able to move. Now Barney is about 70 pounds, and it can get over 120 degrees inside. David Joyner, the puppeteer who braved the dark abyss inside the Barney costume for a decade, described what being Barney was really like to Business Insider:īeing inside this costume is pretty cool. The company is now betting that the world is ready for a return of the friendly T-rex - and yes, you heard that right.īarney was really a Tyrannosaurus rex, a carnivorous predator hiding his true nature behind a mask of benign child’s play. “We can’t wait to get ‘I love you, you love me’ stuck in heads everywhere, yet again,” David Carrico, Valparaiso’s founder, said in a press statement, in what has to be one of the most sadistic promises ever foisted upon an innocent populace.įollowing the success of other toy-based feature films like The LEGO Movie, Mattel has already committed to developing films for some of its own properties, like Barbie and Hot Wheels. It spawned a 1998 theatrical movie, Barney’s Great Adventure, which - alas - was panned by everyone. Although the show, whose concept was “kids dance and sing with a large purple dinosaur,” was frequently the subject of widespread popular bafflement and ridicule, it was also a huge hit, running from 1992 to 2009. The team will adapt Barney & Friends, the iconic kids show starring the oversized puppet dinosaur. Mattel Films, the cinematic division of the toy company, has announced a partnership with Get Out star Daniel Kaluuya’s production company, as well as development firm Valparaiso Pictures, to bring the character to the big screen.
Barney the Dinosaur, the giant purple nightmare from our childhoods, has found his way into our current hellscape - because if there’s anything we as a species deserve right now, it’s remixes of “ I Love You, You Love Me” earwormed in our heads as the world burns.
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